wish i could share it with you...

Sometimes the words just don't flow as well as I would like. Sometimes I just can't seem to run as far or fast as usual. Sometimes I read a lot slower and chop my fruit really messily so the juice goes everywhere. 

Then I remember that it might be because I'm just so damn hungover. Clubbing in China is not like Australia. It's so much harder-of-the-core. By that I mean that it's hardcore. In Jinan we go to a place called PinBar and there is a live band of about 10 people covering awesome 90's tracks as well as the new stuff. People in crazy leotard suits dance on the bar (like, three at a time), you can smoke everywhere, ladies get all-you-can-drink cocktails for 50 kuai (less than 10 dollars) and the spirits are always high.

I literally lost count of the Mojitos. Lost. Count. 

We arrived at that bar at about midnight and stayed until 3. Then we got McDonalds (I can only have the chips and it's always SO frustrating becuase I want a Big Mac SO DAMN BAD (especially after drinking)) and then we meandered home.

Now that I write it out, it doesnt appear to be too different than a crazy night out back in Brisbane, but it really is. Everything here is always just so much zanier. 

It feels like the night herself has been drinking
and the cold breeze is flirting with you trying to get under your coat.

The sun wont rise until later becuase he has a hoarse throat

so he sends the mist at four

into you and air and your mind.

And you believe him.

And when you lie to your bed you are sticky from your sweat

but there is a hand holding your mind so that

you cannot control it. 

You won't fall asleep but you will wake up later.

With only bruises to show where that vice grip led you.

And shards of glitter caught in your eyes.

 

I spent the better part of today eating almonds and drinking strong black coffee. I tried to write about the religion in Kashgar, which I have been meaning to write about for a while now, but it just wouldn't come. My brain, apparently, is still a little too mushy.

I'm listening to the new Beirut album, and it's really speaking to me. If you need one track to convince you, go straight to Goshen. There is something very special about this album. 

So I couldn't write. So what is a youngen do with her time when she should be studying? 

(Click to enlarge.)

This is my favourite picture (left) so far from Kashgar. 

There is just so much meaning in it. The curtains and her muslim veil. The perspecitve of looking through all the layers to find her obscured at the back. The femininity of the curtains against her dark figure. I can just look at this picture for so long. It means a lot to me.

So I tried to draw/paint it! 

I mean, I did. I wish I could share it with you but as you know, I don't have a scanner here in Jinan.


  

I thought I'd give you a quick snapshot of my desk though, because I love seeing pictures of other people's desks on tumbler. If I had a tumbler I think there would be so many pictures of desks on it. And bookshelves! I love seeing a good bookshelf! It's like intellectual porn. You can also see that my plants are still well and happy! I'm very proud of them. They're just so darn metaphorical because I remember buying them with my mum way back when I had just arrived and they were small and now they're big and healthy and oh gosh stop me now. Too much metaphor!!!

Anyways. I'm going to go make some dinner and hopefully when I come back I might be able to actually post something educational. For the record, though, dinner is a delicious chunky tomato, potato and chickpea soup with garlic and ginger and dark soy sauce. SHAZAM!